This article was written by Australian Rural Leadership Program Course 32 participant Stephen Summerhayes whilst on program in July 2025.
Walawaani. A greeting and farewell in the Dhurga language of the Yuin Nation.
It was a visceral, off grid and remote experience. Despite a double shampoo, the smoke of Country lingered in my hair, on my skin and in my thoughts for days.
It was an encounter of contrasts and in keeping, as we approached the closing corroboree, we were both enervated and euphoric.
I emerged battle weary but brimming with ideas and a better sense of self and the world, yearning for the predictability of the day to day but and realising that now is time to ‘step through the door’ of responsibility as an emerging leader.
We were invited to take both a mirror and a magnifying glass to our lives which confirmed and accentuated my foibles and shortcomings and revealed a swathe more 😬. Luckily this is a 15-month course…
‘Were you born to die or will you die to live?’ This was a mental challenge pitched to us early on by Brother Matty Sims, a Yuin man who led us on this journey. The context was ‘were we making deeply personal and meaningful experiences on Country or merely ambling on the hamster wheel?’
We had to surrender and lean into the discomfort. Minor irritations arose and subsided subsumed into more pressing activities like scrambling to find shelter. We agonised over consent versus consensus, ultimately residing in a strengths-based approach where different individuals stepped up.
The leadership heat was turned up, not like the climate change frog in the pot, but more like a blow torch to the bum. I was stretched to the limit. Emotionally. Physically. Socially. Spiritually. Cognitively.
Country heightened my sensitivity. My bloods regularly hit redline – peak cortisol, short, fast breaths and arrhythmia.
Fortunately, to give us a chance to recover and strengthen, the heat was allowed to simmer and cool like forging steel from iron. Lots of self-talk and the caring counsel of peers dragged me along. I was never able to completely settle my monkey mind that routinely took off on many mental tangents, but this course is a long-term work in progress.
At times I felt tight with others, but less so, wholly isolated. Just me and my mind. This was more to do with needing space to decipher and make sense of things than any tensions or incompatibility with others. Often my wildly oscillating moods and feelings were able to resolve around fire and its ‘cleansing’ smoke. We learned about nature’s voice, and I found myself talking to the elements like trees and birds and thanking them, if not out loud, under my breath.
We were encouraged to share our own stories, which for me involved both constructing and deciphering my own story, pushing back on an egocentric desire to embellish and create an account that I thought others would find worthy. There were many instances when I fought back tears, and my voice choked with emotion. But gradually over the days, Cohort 32 created a symphony of stories that tightly tethered us.
I recall one morning during a long period of solitude when the crisp sub-zero temperatures were particularly bracing. My breath blended with the mist that both cloaked and danced on the still water. I remember thinking that my surroundings were ethereal and how blessed I was to be here and present. Immediately, the flame on my tiny camp stove flickered and growled, fighting to stay alight. I looked back up and saw ripples on the water heading in my direction, and the mist swirling vigorously. Within minutes the breeze had lifted the mist and was gone as quick as it visited. Listening to Brother Matty Sims, the spirits were sending a message that I interpreted as ‘now is the right time’.
As a group, we reflected on our personal reflections (metacognition) to eke out the messages, each imbued with personal meanings. We had to dig deep at times, surrendering and leaning into the discomfort and the liminal space wrought by the unknown (Credit: Simone).
Although this was only the first of four key stages over 15 months, I already feel more centred, grounded and attune to Country – nature, people, lore, love. I reckon this helps me to better hear, see, feel and understand the needs of rural, regional and remote Australia. As a wise facilitator said, ‘acceptance is the answer’ (Credit: Dan).
It dawned on me that there was never a right outcome just understanding and facing our vulnerabilities, deconstructing the triggers and working together to emerge stronger.
A heartfelt thanks to my C32 allies and my Gebung confidants who heard, respected, empowered and loved me. Thanks also to Valley Outdoors, Djiriba Waagura and the ARLP team who magnificently orchestrated the event.
Here’s to service, Country and love.
Walawaani.
